Why Not Spend Your Holiday at the Grand Wizard Pool?
Shôn Ellerton, March 3, 2024
We’ve got a great suggestion for anyone’s bucket list of places to go for holiday. The little-known Grand Wizard Pool!
Where will you go for you next holiday destination?
Have you run out of ideas?
Well, do we have a surprise for you!
Why not spend a week at the Grand Wizard Pool Resort, only a stone’s throw from Adelaide’s international airport.
This not-very-well-known place is free from the maddening crowds. Rest assured that you may have the whole of Grand Wizard Pool for yourself.
On arrival at the airport, you can pick up a taxi who will take you the short distance to your luxurious suite at the Grand Wizard Imperial Hotel, only a few minutes-walk from the pool itself. You needn’t worry if the taxi breaks down because the hotel is so close.
If you’re one of those adventurer types, you can take the acclaimed Suburban Wilderness hike to the hotel. Crossing no less than two minor and two major roads, including a fascinating stretch of tarmac belonging to Ikea, you will not only challenge yourself physically but be in a state of awe admiring the majestic surroundings. The symmetry of empty car park spaces along with their white lines and the occasional tree and Ikea signpost dotted here and there simply cannot fail to impress.
The hotel, a magnificent two-storey flat-roof structure with striking orange piping, is an inspiring picture. It’s known to the locals as Airport Motel, but don’t let that fool you. Situated right next to the arterial route leading to the city centre, the hotel boasts incredible views of Ikea and a close-up opportunity to watch how the locals drive. If you’re lucky, you may be able to feel the soothing vibrations and smell the incense of exhaust fumes when a large truck drives by. You may even see the occasional plane coming in to land, but if you get a room on the other side of the building, fear not. The view of the backyards of suburbia framed overhead by a high-tension electrical wire is simply stunning, pardon the pun!
Once inside your hotel, enjoy unwinding and chilling out in one of the hotel’s acclaimed ‘blue suites’, due to its visually striking blue-painted breeze-block walls. Every suite has not one but two strips of fluorescent lighting, no less than three beds positioned conveniently close to each other, a genuine cathode-ray ‘old-style’ TV and remote on its own custom-built shelf, and a retro 70s-style pair of brown patterned curtains to cover the window for a peaceful sleepy night of relaxation.
The en-suite bathroom has its sink and shower, all within reach as you sit comfortably on the toilet positioned neatly in the corner of the room. The hotel even supplies a commercial-grade toilet paper dispenser allowing only a small amount at each tug to help the environment by saving trees.
Best of all, the hotel supplies you with a mini-fridge which serves two purposes. Not only does it hold a generous selection of milk sachets to supplement your cup of tea, but also to serve as an additional barrier in front of a door leading to another suite, some of which are permanently occupied by the homeless.
In anticipation of the adventure to come, wake up nice and early and enjoy breakfast at Ikea situated across the road. Then get your camera out and walk along the naturally man-made Grand Wizard River which runs alongside the very same road which runs by your hotel. With an impressive span of four metres and a maximum depth of one metre, it is lined with concrete walls tagged by the locals to show off their artistic skills. The Grand Wizard River is quite mysterious because it is often completely dry, but there may be small patches of water and an occasional bush growing in the middle.
During those occasions after a rainstorm, you can do white water rafting down the Grand Wizard River. Or rather, a white water rafting of sorts. It may not be quite as wild the Colorado River, but the hotel will provide you with a yellow tube and you can meander down the river all the way to the factory outlet store, should you wish to do a bit of shopping later. You can admire the adjacent road traffic as you lie there meditating and contemplating the universe. Due to the runoff by the local airport and surrounding businesses, it is advisable not to fall into the river.
Be sure to admire the Grand Wizard Bridge on your way to the Grand Wizard Pool. It’s really a concrete prefabricated culvert, but let’s not split hairs. If you are fortunate enough to be rafting down the river, you may need to duck your head because the bridge is less than two metres in height. Like the concrete walls on each side of the river, the bridge is adorned by more of the local artists’ workmanship. You may, by chance, come across some interesting curios such as old vintage hypodermic needles and other collectable items like beer bottle caps.
On your way to the Grand Wizard Pool, stop by at the Grand Wizard Sacred Temple, which looks surprisingly like a pumping station. As this place is highly revered by the locals, entrance is prohibited due to its protective chain-link fence with barbed wire, but don’t let that distract you from the experience. Within its vast 100 square metre area, there are four structures. The largest structure is what looks to be like a corrugated-steel shed with two doors. Herein lies the sacred objects which bless the Grand Wizard Pool taking the energy from the two lesser structures, one of which draws up the Earth’s energy up to the ground, the other completing the circuit and sinking it back to the Earth’s core. The fourth structure, a small green shed, is where the High Priest of the Grand Wizard Pool puts the kettle on.
You are now VERY close to the Grand Wizard Pool itself.
Walking a little further on and emerging out of a small cluster of trees adjacent to the Grand Wizard River, the full splendid glory of the pool awaits you. Due to recent attempts by vandals in spoiling the once azure blue waters of the pool, a chain-link fence surrounds the pool. The water conditions have changed to an emerald green since then, but as with most things in life. You can’t have everything.
You should have been given the key by our courteous hotel owner, who just came out of drug rehab last week. As with the Grand Wizard Pumping Station, the compound around the pool is a whopping 100 square metres. The pool itself is square with generously steep sided concrete walls going to a depth of three metres. Recently, water levels have been low, but at least one can wade up to their knees in alluring green and stagnant waters absorbing the mystical powers of the Cosmos.
Why not hire a deckchair, umbrella and side table enjoying unlimited cocktails all day long next to the pool? There is ample space of around one-and-a-half metres between the pool and the fence, and as a bonus, the ground has been left in its natural state to mimic the quintessential barren-like nature of Australia’s magnificent outback. Not only can you sit back, relax, read a book, and, in general, chill out. But you can play games with the family like Spot-the-Taxi, in which the winner counts the most taxis clearly needing mechanical attention that drive along the airport long-term parking road next to the pool. Why not yank out a pair of binoculars and do a bit of airplane spotting? The world is your oyster.
When the evening comes and you wish to retire back at the hotel, make sure you leave everything as it was in this most sacred of pools. Unfortunately, there were others who left something more in the pool, but we always find it is best etiquette to wait until one arrives back at the hotel. We do advise to wash thoroughly at the hotel before mingling with others.
The last day approaches and, with regret and sadness, the holiday is over and it is time to depart home.
Should you wish to book a week’s holiday at the Grand Wizard Pool, please leave me a comment!
